Let's talk good ole rock & roll

RS just dropped a new list about the 100 greatest guitar songs. RS is mostly a joke and a half, but they still manage to keep me entertained...which is the important thing. I'd like to discuss this list if I may.

1. Johnny B. Goode by Chuck Berry-For some reason they've been playing Oldies out the ass on the muzak at work lately which is kind of a good thing, kind of a bad thing. It's a good thing b/c Chuck was the fucking man. There's a quote by John Lennon that goes something along the lines of, "If rock & roll went by any other name, it would be Chuck Berry." It's kind of a bad thing b/c The Big Bopper makes me want to kill myself. Of everyone who died in that plane crash, The Big Bopper was the only one who deserved it. "Chantilly Lace" is one of the most godawful songs ever committed to wax. Fuck, I hate that shit. But Chuck is the man. I really can't get tired of hearing his songs.
2. Purple Haze by the Experience-Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jimi Henrix, I get it. I hate it, but I get it.
3. Crossroads by Cream-Yeah, yeah, yeah. Eric Clapton, I get it. I hate it, but I get it. Actually, as intolerable as Clapton is, the shit he did with the Bluesbreakers is pretty fucking money, and I'll cop to enjoying a few of the tunes he did with the Dominoes (chief amongst them being "I Looked Away").
4. You Really Got Me by The Kinks-This tune is only about a billion times better than Purple Haze and Crossroads combined. Without this little piece of electric noise, rock & roll is a much, much, much more boring place. God bless you, Dave Davies. I will never tire of hearing that fucking solo. Never. If I could have sex with one guitar solo, I'm 99% sure it would be this one. Brilliance. Perfection. There aren't enough adjectives to describe how much cream this song puts in my jeans.
5. Brown Sugar by the Stones-I dunno if this is the best guitar jam the Stones ever dropped, but it's damn good and I'm not gonna argue.
6. Eruption by VH-Have a little class, RS. Nobody but snaggletoothed, imbreds from the South give a flying fuck about this pompous, overblown excuse for a rock band. Fuck this shit.
7. While My Guitar Gently Weeps by the Fabs-I guess so. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love this song, but is it really the 7th best guitar jam of all time. I doubt it's even the best in the Fabs' illustrious canon. Try a little Helter Skelter on for size, or, shit, hows bout Taxman? Paul's solo on that one is DISGUSTING!!!
8. Stairway to Heaven by Zep-I'm sorry, is this a list of the best guitar jams of all time or songs to close prom with? Come on, Jimmy brought the thunder like a hundred times harder on like a dozen other songs.
9. Statesboro Blues by the Allmans-I'm not gonna lie, I've never even heard this song. Or, if I have, I don't know it. But - fact is - Duane Allman was the fucking man. Not gonna argue.
10. Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana-Jesus Christ, RS, what the fuck is this shit? It's four chords and a shitty solo that apes the melody. I could do that shit in my sleep. Jesus. Hows about a little Teenage Riot, for fuck's sake?
11. Whole Lotta Love by Zep-I mean, I guess, but Jimmy wasn't the god you think he is.
12. Voodoo Child (Slight Return) by the Experience-Yeah, this is definitely a jam. It might even be the jam.
13. Layla by the Dominoes-Fine, but only cuz Duane's rockin alongside Clapton.
14. Born to Run by the Boss-No thank you. I like the Boss well enough, but this shit is overdone and definitely not the 14th best guitar jam of all time. This shit is all saxaphone anyways. Or at least it is to my ears. Fuck saxaphones! That's what I say. Long live the electric guitar!
15. My Generation by The Who-Pete brought it even harder on some of the other early cuts, but this'll do and, hell, it's got a hell of a bass solo. Oh, wait, 100 best guitar jams - whatever, it's RS, whatreyagonnado?
16. Cowgirl in the Sand by Neil and the Horse-Yes, yes, yes!!!! My only complaint is that this isn't higher on the list.
17. Black Sabbath by Black Sabbath-I fucking hate Black Sabbath.
18. Blitzkrieg Bop by the Bruddahs-Amen. Amen.
19. Purple Rain by the Purple One-This really isn't much of a guitar jam. Great song, though.
20. People Get Ready by The Impressions-Haven't heard this cut, but Motown never really known for their guitar jams now were they?
21. Seven Nation Army by The Stripes-Groan. Fuck it, I can't keep writing about this shit. Where the fuck is "Teenage Riot"? This is angering me!!! The White Stripes, really? Really? Jesus Christ.