I'll take a nice warm plate of suck n fuck

Jesus, it's been a while hasn't it? I've been thinking about getting back into blogging for a while now (mostly b/c I have no life), but haven't been able to find the inspiration. Then, bam, yesterday I had a severe allergic reaction to this drug I'm on, I did not sleep one wink last night b/c I was too busy writhing around in the most excrutiating pain I've ever experienced, and at 6 this morning I got a hold of my doctor who, thankfully, was on call and he prescribes me to Loretab (and Prednisone). Problem solved!!! I don't know why prescription pain killers are so inspirational, but I find it's better not to look a gift horse in the mouth. Even if it is just the corpse of Kentucky Derby runner up Eight Belles, which was accidentally shipped to my house instead of the University of Kentucky Horse Autopsy Center. See, that's the kind of tasteless joke I've been struggling to come up with for months and months. Thank you, Loretab!!!

What's going on in everyone's lives? Depression? Anxiety? Feelings of isolation? Feelings of inferiority? Feelings of confusion regarding one's identity? Financial insecurity? Feeling like yr not getting laid nearly enough? Welcome to quarterlife, bitches. IT IS AWESOME!!! Everyone I know is severely depressed and/or locked into potentially dangerous drug habits. This is such an exciting time to be alive!!! Especially the drug part, which is exactly why I'm so stoked on this Loretab thing (fingers crossed I get hooked!).

God, I'm so happy to be blogging again...wait, no, that's just the Loretab. Fuck, it's so hard to tell. It's like, am I actually feeling happy about something right now or am I just on drugs? Speaking of drugs, my band, The Yes People, has a couple gigs coming up. If you live in Lexington, which you don't, you live in or around Springfield, Ohio, you should come. Fuck, even if you live in or around Springfield, Ohio you should come. It's gonna be sweet. Probably even sweeter than that time I slipped a bunch of steroids into Eight Belles food before the Kentucky Derby and she ended up breaking both her ankles and being euthanized on the track in front of thousands and thousands of worthless fucking blue bloods and rednecks. Oh god, did I not mention that I've come to loathe the whole horse racing industry? God, I hate that shit. And not even b/c of the whole Eight Belles thing. I could give two fucks about that. I just hate it in general; although, I specifically hate Keeneland traffic. That's where a big part of my hatred comes from. Another part of it comes from putting up with assholes who are all dolled for Keeneland. Those fucks are the most annoying fucks in the state. Oh, I just thought of something. Ya know what's fun? Getting dumb fucks fired. That is so fun!!! It's like, oh, sorry I got you fired - oh, wait, I'm not sorry, b/c yr fucking worthless and I hate looking at you and yr dumb fucking Confederate Flag purse you fucking racist piece of dog shit. Do you guys think I have an anger problem?

Okay, so I'll do this more often...at least til I run out of Loretab. Did I just say "run out of Loretab?" What the fuck was I thinking? This is Kentucky, after all, prescription pain killer central. I could get like 100 more tabs by noon tomorrow. Hell, I could get 100 more tabs, 10 OC, and a fat sack of grass by 2 PM tomorrow. This is Kentucky, after all, marijuana central. Okay, now that I've painted such a fair portrait of my fair state, I'll bid you all fair morrow. Til next time...